I am sorry you were disappointed by the church service you attended this evening. I honestly can't help that the preacher did not know how to say the word herb correctly and pronounced it with the H. I may be omnipotent, but some people are just beyond being "saved". Besides, the world needs all sorts of people--intelligent, stupid, attractive, ugly--to make it a dynamic place for you humans to inhabit. I wish people would realize this and learn to be more accepting. I also wish that these songs they sing in my praises weren't getting to be so pop-rock, but neither of those things is going to change anytime soon. Just enjoy the diversity and realize that the unpleasant stuff makes the good stuff all the better.
To address another issue that was bothering you during the sermon, yes the Bible was written by me. Well, I didn't actually write the book. A bunch of men wrote it, but who do you think was responsible for the birth of these men and for the inspiration they needed to write such a great masterpiece? The Bible, after all, is merely a piece of divine art, and I am the muse of all artists, whether they realize it or not. And like all art, the Bible is subject to much interpretation. I hope you will not be offended by the ones given in the service you attended today. Instead you should take the service as an experience that has helped you learn and grow, because that is what I want for all my children--learning and growth. Some may grow in more damaging directions than others, but as I said earlier, I've given you all the freedom to choose destruction so that you may more fully enjoy creation.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with some of the angels. They are molting right now and prone to get into nasty moods.
Until the next prayer,